How Should I Think About It?

Let’s forget the whole birth order determines personality thing and focus on the parents. After all, they are the ones that raise us. And that upbringing had more to do with who we are than the order we were born into the family.

The oldest child obviously had the run of the house until the next one came along. They had their parents’ undivided attention. All the love and affection in the world. Then it all changes, mom brings home a baby brother or sister and it’s all over. They are now mommy’s little helper, beginning their responsibilities early, and later they will become the built in babysitter. Then one day mom comes home with another new baby brother or sister. (Side note: the day my little sister came home from the hospital, my brother took a rock and scratched up the side of my mom’s car). This new baby will always be the baby, but will not always be babied. You follow? Mom and dad will always think of them as their precious little angel and give them all their love when they are the last left living at home. By their third child, mom and dad think they have this whole parenting thing figured out. They know all the tricks and become more laid back. The youngest, therefore, has less discipline as the older two did growing up. They are more free to do as they please, leading to their “wild child” persona.

This is where parents go wrong. They parent all their children differently. The oldest gets stuck with all the responsibility of helping out around the house and watching the others when the parents are out. The baby doesn’t get the amount of discipline and orders that the others got. And what about the middle child? What leads to this “middle child syndrome”? Perhaps it’s because they don’t remember ever having all of mom and dad’s undivided attention the way the other two do. Whatever the reason, the better way to think about this myth would be in terms of the parent and their parenting styles.